Deep Thoughts: Days or Daze?

I am sitting in my room attempting to write. It reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in The City. Except I am not smoking, I am not wearing an adorable, tiny, expensive outfit, I am not waiting for Big to pick me up in his town car and I am not alone. No...I am never alone anymore. So I guess the only similarity is that I am typing on a laptop the commentary that is playing out in my head. Whatever.

So lets talk about babies. First, I should say that the second baby is soooooo much easier than the first one. Why? The major reason is that both me and Kevin kind of have an idea what a baby does. Yes, they cry...a lot. Why? We don't know. Now Kevin realizes that this happens and NEVER asks the question "Why is he crying?" That question makes me want to rip my hair out. Also, I think it helps not being alone all day long. Maternity leave is lonely when you are used to going to work every day. That baby does not talk to you...they only scream at you when they need something. Having Kaci home with us makes a big difference. On the days she is at school she really is missed. Third - and maybe this has just came with age - I don't give two shits what other people think. Don't get me wrong - I have a lot of questions about what the hell I am doing. My sister, my mom, my friends - I go to them and value all of the information they give me. Unsolicited advice goes in one ear and out the other. I used to take it all as criticism...not this time.

With that said...babies still uncover my OCD. From day one I start thinking about what my routine will look like. Even while still in the hospital I am watching that clock to monitor feeding times. I wake the baby to feed during the day - and fight the nurses about waking him so much during the night to feed. Gasp - she starves her baby at night even while in the hospital? NO! But if he wants to sleep a bit longer I say let him. We will wake him at the next feeding. Today Dean is 4 weeks old, and I can say that his routine is pretty well established. Big sigh of relief!

I still have my challenges...here we go:

Mornings - Kaci goes to school 2 days a week. I aim to have her there at 9:00 a.m. We get up at 7:00 - 2 whole hours to get ready. Should be easy right? No. These mornings are chaos...rush, rush, rush. I don't want to even think about what time I will have to get up when I go back to work!
Evenings - Dean can be a tyrant between the hours of 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. (I bet you $100.00 that my Mom just said out loud "Oh not my little Dean!"). Of course this is during the nightly dinner, bath time, bed time routine. I find that my patience wears very thin every single night during this time. I have to make a concious effort to make sure that my frustration with Dean's drama is not taken out on Kaci.
Introducing a bottle to Dean - he hates it. We keep working on this by giving him a bottle for one feeding a day. He is getting better with it - but he still tries to fight it.

Whine, whine, whine I know. The positives will always outweigh these challenges though. Oh and wine helps deal with the whine.

Positive things: